16.10.10

Pick myself up, Dust myself down, Start all over again.

Other than to today, everyday this week was actually not bad. I've recently been getting into igo 囲碁 and have been visiting the igo club whenever it's on. There's really only one active member, but he's a patient teacher with pretty decent conversational English compared to most other students in his class. However, trying to explain the techniques of igo isn't an easy thing as experienced by the one member and the teacher who was supervising, so the igo teacher bought me an Igo textbook written in English! In school, my conversations are strictly with him, even though he only speaks Japanese. Of course, a few words about work are exchanged between me and the English teachers or when I take the initiative to talk to other Japanese teachers. I heard through the grape vine that the two previous ALTs left because of this reason.

Anyway, today I presented my first radio show and.... it was a ghastly experience. I told the Japanese Teachers of English weeks ago that I was going to broadcast, come today they harrowed me throughout my session telling me this and that. I was so nervous, and afterwards embarrassed, throughout. Why didn't they bloody tell me before hand???

After the show, the Main Supervisor of the Broadcasting Committee (whom I was only told about today) starting to complain about it. He wasn't informed, he said. F*ck that, I was referred to his sub-ordinate who went over to tell him after our [translated] chat, and that was a few weeks again. When I chased up about it last week, the sub-ordinate said it was fine to go ahead with it. The Main Supervisor said that no-one understood what I was saying during the Broadcast, he said that the Broadcasting committee needed to make their broadcasts, he complained that he wasn't informed about the content of my show and that we needed to have a Committee Meeting before to discuss matters of starting my English Radio. I felt so frustrated. Instead of giving me the go ahead, why didn't he postpone the session to deal with Committee issues first?

The last straw was when he started talking to the JTE and not me. Its my matter, my responsibility, my duty, why wasn't he talking to me about it? The JTE is there to translate, why didn't he talk to me? Would he dare to do the same with international business partners and sister schools? I seriously did not feel as if I was regarded as his colleague at all. Anyway, he seemed to have a problem with me from the very beginning.

Students don't understand the English dialogue? Do you think I understood Japanese when I first came? Extra exposure to a language is a bonus for learners, especially if I don't see a class one week. He didn't know I was doing a broadcast? I saw him being informed. He didn't know the content? He thinks I know to talk to him? Why didn't he come to me and ask?

I wasn't thinking of crying, but I did anyway. Afterwards, I felt more determined than ever, you want to step on me? You'll regret it. By the time I'm gone, this school is going to be better than when I arrived, at least in terms of English enthusiasm.

Next action point: Presenting Halloween lessons as Elmo. Corny poses and voice included.

Committee Meeting: Tuesday.

2 comments:

yulin said...

You don't need to prove to the committee, don't let the ugly administrative affairs distract u. Your job, your duty of care is to the young children you teach. Just keep your enthusiasm even if the others try to dampen your spirits! Be passionate about what you do. One can feel if you are not serious about what you teach and this is what separates a good teacher from a poor one. OK, next step, to show your passion, conditioned yourself to talk and think like Elmo ;-)

Jing said...

;) Thanks a lot for the advice.